You’re a Christian, You’re a Bigot, Yet You Still Want To Have Thanksgiving Dinner

You are happy that Donald Trump won an election. You’re proudly posting it on social media as you did throughout his horrifying campaign, not quite in patriotic pride but in a sore winner fashion – you know: crying liberals, sore losers, sour grapes, and all that. But you have a little problem…your friends and family – the very folks who said before this rancid election that Donald Trump was a racist, misogynist, xenophobe, bigot, and sexual predator – are now not only saying that he still is all of these horrible things despite victory, but they also say that you support all of this as well. You feel this isn’t fair, I’m sure, because you’ve memorized the ten commandments and sing a great alto line on “Amazing Grace.” Maybe you’re not that bad of a person despite supporting the guy that mocked the disabled reporter.  But there’s the dilemma that you’re going to have to see the people who think your beloved Trump is the devil at both Thanksgiving and Christmas. You still want to have the same relationship with friends and family and have Thanksgiving dinner like everything is okay…so what can you do?

You can’t grab women by the p***y, for starters. You can’t call Mexicans “rapists” and “drug dealers.” You can’t throw Muslims out of the country or force an entire religion to sign a registry. You can’t build a wall to keep folks out. You can’t deport people who have been working toward visas and citizenship for years despite our flawed system. You can’t call women ugly and ask people to “just look at that face” in attempts to supply proof. You can’t say that “you never saw a skinny person drinking a Diet Coke.” You can’t walk into a woman’s dressing room to inspect the ladies as they undress…I mean “inspect your product.” You can’t give unconstitutional religious tests. You can’t kill you enemies’ women and children. You can’t encourage others to “knock the h*** out of” people who don’t like you, even if you’ll pay for the lawyer fees afterward. You can’t mock the disabled. Now, if you have endorsed, encouraged, or excused this kind of behavior over the past two years, is it still possible to have day of thanksgiving and then a bit later wish peace on earth and goodwill toward men? That’s a tough one since you’re a Christian, you’re a bigot, and you still want Thanksgiving dinner. Consider this:

“Salt water and fresh water cannot come from the same spring.”

I know the anger must be welling up inside of you at this point. After all, I just said “you’re a bigot” as if I really know you. I know you feel this simply isn’t true. However, there’s nothing simple about it. You may have simply endorsed a candidate without considering the full scope of what you were representing by supporting him. He said a lot of stuff – A LOT of stuff. The cool, reality-show candor that has always intended to do one thing – generate television ratings – may have lured you alongside his ultra-conservative, alt-right pandering, but the vile hate speech transforms what you may see as “simple” into something way more complex than you are able to casually walk away from. I know it’s tough trying to force fresh water out of the spring that has flooded the world world with salt water for the past two years. You don’t think what has happened is that bad. After all, you probably don’t wear white robes and march with the KKK. You probably don’t use the “n word” or tell racist jokes. You probably do not think that ALL Mexicans are rapists or ALL Muslims are terrorists, that is if you know any Mexicans or Muslims at all. You may not even want to touch random women inappropriately, either, or rape them. You may not want to start a series of seminars and call them a “university” in hopes of scamming people out of money with a fake school. However, you, dear Christian and Donald Trump, pushed hatred, divisiveness, disrespect, intolerance, misogyny, bigotry, xenophobia, sexism, and rape speech into the public eye as acceptable practices and then said “you should just move on” once your candidate had won the electoral vote. You said these nasty things alongside Donald J. Trump either explicitly or as an innocent bystander who thought they were voting as a “conservative” – meaning you are speaking volumes through your silence on these issues. It was a done deal on Friday after the election and just in time for church on Sunday. We saw that you had changed from the person that sat in a pew beside us and turned into a conduit for all of the qualities that we prayed to God would leave the world so that peace on earth could reign. Your message changed – not the truth, not Christ…but your message. It is in your voice and in your silence, yet it is still probably a mystery to you why some seem so sore that a bigot won the election. Why can’t we all just “move on?”

You, oh Christian bigot, want the victory of a sexual predator to be the end of the process. You don’t rape women, right? So why do I want to keep this going? You want the alt-right (translated: white nationalist bigot) chief strategist appointment to be an issue overplayed by the media. Why do I want to keep talking about racism? You want the conversion therapy-endorsing, talk radio host, ultra-conservative to be the spiritual guide for the man who can’t control his Twitter account. Why do I want to talk about religion and politics? The bigotry continues to compound now that what has proven to be one of the most tumultuous, unpromising, and thoughtless transitions to power in our country’s history is taking place. My family and friends, my children’s classmates, acquaintances of color and different ethnic and religious backgrounds are holding dire and fearful conversations with me and we are met with nonsense-filled soundbytes such as “deal with it,” “move on,” and “build that wall.” There have been an unprecedented amount of hate crimes recorded in the wake of this election, some of which have happened in my city, and you want to know why I cannot just deal with it. Your silence on these issues speaks volumes. Your insensitivity proclaims at least widespread, acute ignorance or at worst, a deep-seeded, seething hatred.  No white robes or swastikas are necessary to make this kind of point. Victory is no salve for the wounds of bigotry and hate speech.

You want the victory in the matter to be where those of faith must concede to the scriptural command of praying for and supporting leaders, as if Trump’s victory has made the practice of excusing sin something that is righteous in the process. You assume prayer wasn’t also made for the loser in the election. You assume prayer hasn’t been made for Trump already. This faithless assumption is the same assumption people make when they say “we took God out of our schools.” Silliness. Utter silliness. That is spoken like a quaking coward, unaware that no man – no group of men, faithful or faithless – could remove the God we serve from anything at our feeble wills. Complete faithlessness! We of faith have been praying every day. No Christian that I know has said they won’t pray for and support the country’s soon-to-be leader. He, in fact, needs fervent and dedicated prayer!

By the same token we that are of faith hold all Scripture to be profitable for reproof. Now that Trump has won the electoral vote, no Scripture says that it is okay to be a bigot, a xenophobe, a sexist, a sexual predator, or a misogynist OR that it is okay to idly support such practices. Even if you saw something that you thought was right or good in the veiled and often absent policies of xenophobe Donald Trump, the means in which he achieved support was heavily dressed in sin, hatred, and mockery. Remember that even the truth, if cloaked in sin, is still sin. To your brother and sister in Christ it looks like you endorse sin yet still wish to be seen as one who models themselves after Christ and is filled with the Holy Spirit. It’s a complex proposition. We’re not disagreeing on economic policy or healthcare plans – we’re disagreeing on it not being okay to mock the disabled or promote rape culture. Presidents change, but truth and sin do not. Speaking against such hatred never ends, as Scripture has it – we pray for His kingdom to come and His will be done on earth. While you endorse it either in full voice or silently, it must be discussed. It is being praised in public forums and those of faith must respond, not with voices of anger (and that is difficult) but voices that reveal the sin, rebuke the sin, and convict the souls of those involved.

That’s where the problem lies now. At first you may have been able to feebly justify support of misogynist Trump because he was not Hillary Clinton (she’s the one called “Crooked Hillary,” remember?). Hillary Clinton is out of the way now. All of the excuses such as “Trump is better than Hillary,” “but Hillary Clinton did this,” “but Bill Clinton did that,” “email servers,” “Benghazi,” etc., now have no role in your conversation. You can no longer say “but Hillary Clinton…” because she’s out of the picture. All that is left is that you, and you alone, endorsed bigotry, racism, hatred, xenophobia, rape culture, and sexism and now have no scapegoat on which to cast these sins. You stand holding this torch high. It’s you who has identified yourself this way. This is probably what your friends and relatives are having such a difficult time stomaching:  you chose sin as your voice and you celebrate it as your side in victory. It would be different had you spoken openly against xenophobia, racism, violence, and rape culture with some intelligent defense of policy or platform, but that never happened (if it did, then this blog isn’t for you, I suppose).

That goes deeper than just a vote. It seems you are capable of excusing sexual harassment for political victory. You are capable of advocating a pro-life platform for unborn girls while advocating for the rape and sexual harassment of “born” girls. You are capable of excusing xenophobia to prove America can be great again (whatever that means, as if America isn’t great now). You will excuse bigotry in order to win an election. You endorse sexism as long as you have a chance at winning an argument. You let bullies mock the disabled at the expense of a reporter and applaud the faux virtue of “telling it like it is.” You let a deceased war hero’s mother and father be mocked in order to properly support a political party and condemn the faux sin of “political correctness.” You allowed an entire nation to be labeled rapists in permission to stir up fear of minority groups and at the expense of creating fear for Mexican Americans.You permitted a man to receive accolades and votes despite saying that he would grab a woman by the p***y at the expense of those who have experienced abuse who walk silently among you – they are everywhere and you spoke against them. You extolled the virtue of the sanctity of marriage while, at the same time, you lauded the three marriages, mistresses, extra-marital affairs, and current pornographic model/escort wife (and add “plagiarist,” if indeed that actually makes a difference at this point) of Donald Trump. You reduced rape culture to “locker room talk” and then pointed fingers to accuse the victim of adultery (Trump’s opponent) for the sins of the adulterer (her husband).

If you are capable of doing this in a political race, where else will you do this and what will be your trigger? At family functions, at schools, around my children, on social media? I’m sure by this point that your blood pressure is high and you want to scream a red-faced “NO I WOULD NEVER DO THAT!” at the top of your keyboard’s lungs. But…what if you wanted to win again? What if you wanted to vote just to spite those who said this kind of behavior is sinful behavior? What if you just don’t care or are prone to turning a blind eye to injustice yet again? That’s why I wonder what you’ve become and how you became blind to the banner that you, through Trump, were waving. That’s why I have a hard time thinking about what side dish I’ll bring to your table at Thanksgiving. It is trite, trivial, and fleeting. I am bringing my sacrifices to an altar and I have a problem with my brother.

You’ve tied yourself to Trump’s identity; his words are your testimony. When Donald Trump was speaking with what I thought was plainly revealed, inexcusable, and sinful hatred, I was certain that it could be seen in light of how Scripture condemns it. Now that he has won, I see that many ignore Scripture, excuse the sin, and stand by such behavior. Many of you excuse yourselves from even discussing this behavior or being questioned by others through reason of victory. Sin, faith, and truth do not work this way.

Please understand that there are and will be those that are hurt because you would support such sin. Injustice and unrighteousness, whether enacted first hand or endorsed from the sidelines as a bystander really, really hurts those to whom it is aimed. And regardless of what position you play on the team of injustice, you’re still on the team. That goes for the players, cheerleaders, and spectators.  You have allowed sin to be a path that’s considered as a just means to achieve what you want. You turned away from truth and justice and opted for sacrifice – the sacrifice of those who are victims and are oppressed by such hatred. You condemned all the groups who were the dumping ground for Donald Trump’s hatred and shockingly turned around and mentioned God with the same voice. Once you endorsed hatred, claimed God, and then won the race, you turned with residual disdain toward those who were shocked at your behavior. Maybe you suggested moving on or dealing with it. Maybe you mocked the fear of those who are afraid. Maybe you mocked small movements like the safety pin or large movements like peaceful protests against such language and hatred. Not only did you endorse Trump’s brand of hatred, but also those who are trying to show solidarity by moving on and dealing with it by speaking about how bigotry is sinful. Maybe you’ve looked at others and said things like, “it’s over now. Get used to it,” “America has spoken,” “oh look, you’re candidate didn’t win so now you’re hurt,” “I had to support a candidate I didn’t like for 8 years, so get over it,” “people are saying worse things about Donald Trump now than he ever said about anyone else,” “oh look, Trump opponents are causing riots,” “oh look at who is intolerant now,” “no matter who is president, Jesus is King.” Maybe you’ve posted it on social media with pictures of Kermit the Frog, Willy Wonka, or Hitler. How far down into the salty waters will you wade? Are you truthfully joyous in this behavior? Does patriotism become stronger in the mockery of its smaller parts? What does your Book say about seasoning speech?

There is no room to say such things. Mockery is provocation for response and doesn’t promote moving on, does it? Avoiding the issues of bigotry that were clearly spoken by the candidate isn’t actually dealing with the issues. Moving on is what you’d like, right? Good! The holidays are coming soon. Make up for lost time and lost ground. Focus on a new voice – one that wasn’t present in supporting the bigot. Speak about how you will not stand for racism. Speak how you will not judge a woman based on looks. Speak about how it is not okay when anyone sexually forces themselves on others. Stand up for victims of rape instead of for their oppressors. Learn the names and stories of the refugees you condemned. Tell others you will not stand for a misogynist calling women pigs and other slurs. Tell your family that you won’t stand for other nations being demonized. Speak up for children’s health care, citizenship, and education if you are truly pro-life. Campaign for peace, not war, if indeed life is precious.  Be honest if you know nothing about the illegal immigrants you were force-fed the fear of. Don’t be cruel if you hear that someone may be losing insurance because your candidate spoke so openly about cancelling the health care options for the uninsurable. Stand up in courage and speak out against fear mongering. Stop excusing sin as a bystander. Strengthen your faith and the faith of others instead of speaking against or mocking those who are desperately trying to “fear not.” Speak so that you may earn the trust and integrity you’ve lost as a credible, genuine person of faith. Speak for what is right instead of for what won this election, so that you may be a peacemaker. Speak so that the city on the hill, the light of the world, may not be hidden.  Don’t speak for the side of division, but for the side of unity. You cannot reveal God through mockery. The Holy Spirit does not convict through actions that ridicule others. Speak for Christ, for Christ’s sake.

You, Christian bigot, bought and sold the slogan “Make America Great Again,” not “Mock America Into Being Great Again.” You can’t do that by saying that others are crying about sour grapes or spilled milk. You can’t do that by telling the losing side to “just deal with it.” You can’t make anything great by gloating in the same way that you can’t make anything great by giving voice to oppression and hatred.  You’ve tied yourselves to the millstone of the racist xenophobe. You have no room to plummet further into those dark, salty waters with that millstone around your neck. Either act like a person of faith or stop wondering why others find what you say to be bigoted.

It was hard for me to find that I have relatives who could say they’d “grab a woman by the p***y.” I was shocked to find I had cousins who have pageant daughters who now supported a man who they support walking into their dressing rooms (months after faux-outrage at the idea that a transgender person might walk into their bathroom). I stared in disbelief as the friend I sang “Tie Us Together, Lord” with at church camp now believed that “they’re sending us their rapists and drug dealers.” It was stunning to watch as former and current WIC and welfare mothers in my family excuse rape culture, despite being self-proclaimed pro-lifers, and would also agree that we should “bomb the sh*t out of ’em,” – “’em” being ISIS’ men, women and children (how’s that for pro-life – let ’em be born then kill ’em). I have watched as marriages in my family were broken and friends and relatives moved in with each other outside of marriage and then proclaimed that marriage was a sacred institution all the while belittling same sex marriages, parading the Clintons’ marriage, or giving silent approval to the Trump brand of marriages and affairs. It was hard to watch those with whom I have worshipped and had, in thanksgiving, prayed in church for freedom to assemble and for the Lord to “please send us those who need you most,” look at an entire religion and judge that it needed “extreme vetting” and a “registry.” It is hard to watch those who have been WIC and welfare mothers or single parents who have lived with their parents because they were unable to afford their own lives speak about how the helpless and homeless refugees should be turned away – all while calling them “Trojan horses” and “terrorists”. It was hard to watch those I love support wholeheartedly a racist who quietly accepted David Duke, Steve Bannon, and the KKK’s endorsement without saying a word, even when Trump was questioned and despite my family’s interracial children and marriages. It was hard for me to see Christian and non-Christian friends and family, some of whom are disabled and have disabled children, support and cheer that the disabled could be mocked on national television – in doing so you mocked your own family…my family…and that is sickening. It is hard to watch pastors and deacons from various chuches I have attended post about “Islams” (which, for the record, should be “Muslims”) and try their hand at racist humor by posting on social media that “A white man evicts a black family from their home” (in reference to the White House). People of faith and good conscience are vacating truth for the side of a political argument in all of these instances. The church, in supporting and endorsing this behavior, not only silences the voice of truth but also speaks with a different voice- a voice dripping with hatred and wink-wink-nudge-nudge bigotry. I feel I have been lied to. I have broken bread and worshipped with those who now excuse this behavior and take the side of the oppressor rather than stand for and with the oppressed. I learned about forgiveness, redemption, and salvation from some of you who wipe off hate speech as a casualty of the election, as if all is fair in love and war, and God’s truth can be put on hold until the election was won. This goes beyond losing an election. We laid our faiths on the table and sold it for corruption and rot.

Those of faith are sickened and hurt because you, Christian bigot, seemed to have renounced faith in this campaign. You used or endorsed speech that hurt us and those we serve. You hid the Word of God. You put the lamp under a basket. You scourged Christ again. Instead of moving on and having meaningful dialogue about why you or America excused sin for victory, you ask why I still want to talk about these things and then mock me for it. You accuse me of being a sore loser. I ask why it is okay to say these things and am told to move on, what’s done is done.  It is indeed a time to move on, but those of faith are moving without you and despite you. We’ll have those conversations whether you check into or out of them. Our Text discusses it whether you are there to read It with us or not. We’ll count it a blessing to be mocked by you for the name of Christ. It’s just the way Scripture has asked that we do it. You’ve lost our trust, broken and weakened our family on these issues. That’s not on Donald Trump or Hilary Clinton – that’s on you. We can’t tell you that bigotry is wrong and it’s a shame that we felt we had to tell you in the first place. It’s wrong whether I say it or not. Now you have to take responsibility for your behavior. That will be tough now that you cannot conveniently blame it on Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump. You  must speak what you believe in light of what you have already said through your actions. What you have asked me to do in asking me to move on is accept the hatred you voiced against those we are called to serve, overlook it, and then go peacefully into the holiday season like nothing happened. I will forgive you, but first I must “tell it like it is, no political correctness.”

You have, explicitly in full voice or as a silently-endorsing bystander, voiced bigotry, xenophobia, misogyny, racism, sexism, and rape culture with one voice on November 7 and then turned to voice Thanksgiving and Peace On Earth, Goodwill Toward Men on November 9. It’s all mixed with your version of “look at who has sour grapes because Trump won.”

“Salt water and fresh water cannot flow from the same spring.”

“No man can serve to masters because he will love one and hate the other.”

My family has a mixture of folks:  retirees, former and current WIC/welfare single mothers, divorcees, pageant teens, immigrants, missionaries, educators, artists, students, atheists, a Muslim, interracial relationships, happily-marrieds, those who are living together outside biblical marriage’s sanctity, non-profit volunteers, health care professionals, those struggling with addiction, low income, high income, veterans, teachers, men, women, children. Not one of these went untouched by some form of hatred spewed during this last campaign. While 60 million Americans excused and approved sinful behavior, another 60 million said that this was not okay. Victory by one side does not excuse sin. The Bible said this form of bigotry is not okay. Christ said this is not okay. It is not okay. There is no vote to decide what is truthful and what is sinful. That was decided long before we voted. I hated racism before Trump was elected. I still hate it. I hated violence toward women and misogyny before Trump was elected. It’s still sin. I hated labeling immigrants as rapists before Trump was elected. This ploy to scare people into voting was, and always will be, sin. I couldn’t trade truth’s values for political gain. We are commanded to be salt, not salt water. We are to help the sick, thirsty, imprisoned, unclothed, widows, fatherless, and the stranger – it’s directly tied to how a good Man identifies us. Salt water and fresh water cannot flow from the same spring.

Don’t be surprised that you are seen in a different light or that you’re thought less of because you betrayed your faith and family by campaigning as a bigot – even if you had the best intentions in mind. You had to make hard choices in this past election, it seems. You may not be a bigot, racist, or xenophobe, but Trump’s campaign didn’t separate the bigots from the non-bigots. He certainly made no effort to separate bigots from Christians.

You can be a Christian. You can be a bigot. You cannot be both successfully, though, and one will eventually dominate the other. Think about what you’ve said and done to cause this kind of reaction from others. People didn’t call Trump a xenophobe because they lost an election. He said that for himself. You said it for him. Think about what needs to happen now that you have the platform of victory on which to speak before you ask me to join you and celebrate the Baby that was taken in by strangers and was forced to register and who later fled his country as a refugee from mass genocide – I mean, um, the Christmas holidays.

I’m going to engage in serious study and reassess how I now have to engage you, the church, those I’m called to serve, my family, and my friends. My world was radically shaken when hate achieved a high office in my country. I’m truly hoping that in expressing a few thoughts that I, too, haven’t fallen victim to acting out against a group of people in a bigoted and hateful way. I know that my thoughts are harsh and are bound to hurt some of you. I see them as productive discussion, or at least a screen shot of my feelings and faith at this point in time after this horrid election. I’m hoping they aren’t seen as “hate” – at least not the hate that was spewed at Mexicans whose sole crime was being Mexican, or at women who finally put aside their shame and fear of libel charges to come forward and speak against their rapist when their only crime was being sexually assaulted, or the hate that was spewed at Muslims because their crime was choosing Islam as their religion or wearing a hijab. I think all of this can be discussed, no, I think it MUST be discussed. I’m just not sure, with such a level of hatred introduced as normal discourse, how it can be done. At least you’ll know how I feel in the matter before shutting me out with a meme or a plea for me to “deal with it” and “move on.”

I ask myself and you the following question:

Maybe it is time to start making peace with your brother before bringing the turkey to the altar?



Flu Shots

I have never had a flu shot. I do not like the notion of putting something into my body that made of the disease. Despite it being a prevention or cure, it is still disease and that bothers me. There is also the method of administering the disease that involves sticking a sharp metal object into my skin that causes more pain than it possibly cures. I never think about it as a worthwhile measure until the days each year where the flu is rampant and each pharmacy advertises flu shots.

I didn’t consider a flu shot until the week I was sidelined. I was miserable. Every joint ached. It was hard to breathe because of congestion. Full breaths hurt because of the stress something as insignificant as a breath had on the aching muscles and joints. I coughed until I was exhausted. Sleep only came with the help of medicine. The fever was spiking unpredictably.

There was a deeper level to the pain of this sickness. I’ve had the flu four times. However, this is the only time I’ve had it when I have had children. My toddler also had contracted the flu and was suffering with the same afflictions I mentioned above. This hurt me far more the the actual symptoms from which I was suffering. I could only watch her from a distance. She couldn’t voice her feelings completely as adults or children do. Her eyes told a story of unrelenting illness and pain. I hurt for her and had a feeling of helplessness I hadn’t known before.

The one thing that eased my suffering in her sickness was the great mediator between the world of the sick and the healthy:  my spouse. During this time, I was given medicine, food, time for rest, and a reprieve from the chores of the house. My daughter also received 24/7 attention – attention that I couldn’t possibly give her because of my feeble physical state.

My spouse worked tirelessly during this time. At times I thought I heard my spouse coughing and sniffling. The deep fear that we would all be sick terrified me. My feelings put my toddler before myself, of course, and I began to wonder how I could get her to the doctor in my state. The first impulse to take her was on the weekend which would mean a trip to the emergency room. The next time was at a better time during the physician’s work week – a less expensive charge to my insurance. My spouse would be up to bat again, giving up precious days off to take care of this.

I couldn’t help but think of how I would do this by myself without her. It would be absolutely miserable. Is this the pain a single parent must face each time a struggle comes about? How does this measure against a working single parent or a single parent on welfare who works but has to manage a family as well? How does a single parent manage the situation of under-employment and being sick on top of having a sick child? How much does an emergency room trip cost a single teenage mother? How much does a person without insurance cover the cost with a minimum wage job and no benefits? How can a parent manage this if they have no family nearby to provide support during these times? These hypothetical situations can’t help but be speculated when the 2011 census report tells us that there are 10 million single mothers and 5.2 million of them are owed child support. I can’t understand this and I hope that I never have to do so. My pain is great enough just watching a child go through this – and I have the means to take care of the illness.

That found me thinking of some of the things the church has said about children lately. It’s not the standard chapter and verse where Jesus suffers not the children to come to Him or how a father shouldn’t provoke his children to wrath. It’s the highly politicized message of judgment toward children that portrays christians as hateful and vindictive when we publicly voice an opinion on homosexuality and abortion. Most christians, upon reading that last statement, will automatically reach for their six-shooters and arm themselves with the verses from Romans, Matthew, Exodus, Leviticus, Deuteronomy, and similar passages that show what the Bible says about the two hot-button subjects. I do not think the church considers what it has done with this message.

We have voiced a hatred not only for abortion, but for those who have them, consider having them, and/or support the procedure. We do not consider the pain and deep-seeded, life-altering emotion that comes with having abortion. We do not consider the events that lead up to the pregnancy that brings about the choice on whether or not to abort:  how sensitive are we to rape, incest, or lifestyle that has taught that abortion is simply an option of birth control? We do not consider the under-the-gun, split-second decision of a mother who, in the delivery room, has to make the choice to abort or deliver and risk her own life. Notice that I’m not providing a list of excuses supporting the practice of abortion, but rather a list of real subjects we ignore when we make flippant statements or trite internet posts. We think that we are voicing God’s word on the issue when we really are displaying our own limited understanding of the topic and voicing an opinion that is buckshot and will hit anyone regardless of where they stand on the issue. It is understood that christians will generally fall on the side of opposing the practice. What is not understood is why christians aren’t willing to support the solution to “the problem.” We want to outlaw the procedure at the operating table and that has always baffled me. This is like trying to avoid a flood by fighting the crest of a tidal wave instead of providing regular, preventive maintainance to a dam that could burst without proper care. More simply stated, christians are battling the issue at the wrong point of expedition and that makes them come across as ignorant of the issue and ignorant of the text from which their beliefs come. They generally speak against sex education, providing cheap or free contraception, programs that rehab and/or provide contraception for prostitutes, and homosexuality. Some even go further and battle funding for education and health care – two issues that would by nature limit the practice.

It is made clear what christians seem to hate – and that’s the problem. Christianity isn’t defined by what one hates – it’s defined and even governed by what one loves. In the message of hate we lose what christians actually want, especially when it comes to children. There’s no outcry for fostering and adoption of children that are up for abortion. Christians won’t drop their signs of protest at abortion clinics to plead with any woman in order to adopt her unborn child. The religious blowhards on FaceBook make every election about abortion in part – not about adoption, fostering, or safe sexual and familial practices. The elections are not made about preventing unwanted pregnancies or improving health care so children are, quite frankly and callously, more affordable or are least not the death blow to a struggling woman or family (and just as a side note, every president since Roe v. Wade has had to support abortion, swearing as he entered office to uphold law despite the personal beliefs he or she campaigned on). We’re too busy throwing our personal beliefs about a procedure or a candidate around on social networks like FaceBook to do anything productive to solve the problem. Despite its personal nature, FaceBook opinions are seen by way too many to not touch someone who has had the pain of a lost child in their lives. Despite intention, these broadcasted “truths” are still judgmental, depicting the pious broadcaster unaware that the truth wrapped in the sin of judgment and insult is still sin. In truth, matters of a sexual, reproductive, and familial nature should not be so loudly broadcasted. We don’t announce “I didn’t abort my baby and let her be born!” via FaceBook (yes, it’s a silly example), so why would we profess other matters against another person so insensitively?

The same goes for same-sex union. Christians will protest and broadcast their feelings on same-sex union anytime an issue comes up in a public forum. A couple gets married, christians protest. A set of laws come up on a ballot, christians protest. A president gets elected, christians protest and often exclaim that one candidate is “pro-gay marriage” and will proudly take membership as a branch department of one political party or another. We want to outlaw the practice of marriage between same-sex couples at the alter, or better stated:  at the wrong point of expedition. We do not consider that there is no protest of the practice of divorce nor outcry for its repeal at election time (and as a side note, future President Reagan – an oft-quoted patron saint to many christians – made divorce as quick as same-day with his No Fault Divorce Law – a sign of the times in 1960 that is still flourishing today past his death). We do not consider that man allowed the state to recognize a religious institution, to determine the exact time it began and license that union, that man decided how to tax a marriage, that man decided what civil rights “marriage” is entitled, that man decided how/when/for what reason marriage can end by law, that broken marriages are still governed in child support by the state, and that marriage could be altered permissably by democratic process.

Furthermore, as we bring the subject back around to children, we deny children who could be adopted into loving homes their chance of having a family because christians are too busy judging the process that will allow a two parent home, a two parent income, a two parent power of attorney, and a two parent support network the opportunity to raise that child even if we disagree with the nature of the union. We don’t want to call same-sex union “marriage” and we don’t want the freedom of democracy to prevail and allow “civil unions.” We essentially say that we would rather leave God’s gift unattended with no parents or at best, government care, than to have a child grow up in a home with loving parents. This point, I’m sure, makes most christians’ blood boil. They assume that I advocate homosexuality because I advocate union by civil law, the right to adopt, the civil rights that allow one person power of attorney in another’s life, the possibility to take responsibility for actions by law.

Therein is the problem:  you’re too busy judging me to be part of the solution. In 2012, there were  approx. 424,000 children in foster care in the United States according to Their average stay in the system is three years, shorter than the period most god-fearing christians have to wait to vote a “gay-loving, abortion-having” president out of office. In the 2008 census, the number of christians in the United States numbered 173,402,000. That’s roughly 409 christians for every child in foster care. According to our message, the message about our deep personal beliefs professing our own adoption into a family that is a City on a Hill, there should be no child without a family. There should be no orphan in a religion that in its purest form boils down to caring for the widows and the fatherless. A population that lives this remedy will be represented by civil authority accordingly. Our current message is demonstrated by our fruits and our fruits scream hypocrisy. For christians who still can’t fathom this idea as part of faith, consider that Rahab, a lady who is recorded in history as a hooker, is known more for what what credited her as righteousness and faith rather than her sexual exploits. Consider that she wasn’t a member of Israel, God’s chosen group. Consider that she, not you, is compared to Moses and the other legends of true faith.

There is an important truth I know about children when it comes to theology:  “Children are a gift of the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward.”

When we treat God’s gifts (whether that be the children or the womb that bears the fruit) with contempt, judgment, or disdain we heap His judgment onto ourselves. We aren’t fostering or adopting vehemently. Our voices at election time don’t scream, “I’ll adopt NOW. I’ll foster NOW. Let me HELP.” We reek of judgment, ignorance, and obstinance. Our language is the language of hatred. We voice personal opinions in a buckshot manner and then relinquish owning up to our statements by saying, “it’s what God said.” How dare we blame God!

When God said it, he said it with His voice in His own words. He governed how you should say it with the two greatest commandments:  Love God; Love you neighbor. There are also those examples derived from these laws that use phrases like “as a mother gently nurses her young” and “language seasoned with salt.” There is also that verse that says something like “be prepared to give an answer to anyone who asks you.” One can’t be “prepared” to give an answer to someone to whom they speak if they don’t know that person, the situations that frame the conversant’s mindset, or the common language in which to frame the love of God. Preparation in this event isn’t a one-way street. It simply is not possible.

It’s time we owned our message and spread some love. It’s time to put our foot in the race to push forward, not kicking against the thorns. It’s time to fight the good fight.

I can’t imagine how I would have remedied our illnesses without the aid of my spouse. I cannot imagine taking my child to the hospital and being denied entrance to the facilities because my name isn’t on a piece of paper that man devised. I cannot imagine the pain or dispair of a decision that would cause me to give up my child because of the increase in suffering on a life without proper income, healthcare, or education. Why have we taken a simple issue and politicized it? Why do we call those in need “entitled” when we are all one tragedy away from the same position? It all simply disagrees with my faith.

I am thankful for my blessings of children and spouse. I am also thankful that the flu is quickly cured. However, my earlier views reflect the more serious matters of discussion. I don’t want to put a view that is mostly disease into my body. I don’t want to push away others and cause pain by the method in which “love for neighbor” is too often enacted. I don’t think about such messages until the disease that affects many christians rears its ugly head and I have to explain my views to those with whom I’ve had longstanding conversations about the actual message of Love. The flu is quickly cured. The other disease needs the methods of a much Greater Physician.